God’s Design for Forgiveness

God’s designed creation for his glory and our good, mainly through a relationship with God

But we sinned, broke our relationship with God, and now suffer sin’s destruction and God’s judgment

Which affects others by pridefully making them complicit in your sin or using them for your sin

God doesn’t leave us separated and suffering, Christ comes, dies, and forgives – Rom 3:21-26 

 

Those who repent and believe in Christ enjoy God’s righteousness and a restored relationship with God

Christ’s forgiveness is not just for our spiritual benefit, it is a model for forgiving others – Matt 18:21-35

Christlike forgiveness should be sought after in all of our relationships, especially in the family

 

Seeking Forgiveness, Not Forgetfulness

Forgiveness acknowledges sin, pardons its consequences, and works toward reconciliation

God doesn’t forget our sin, instead he counts us righteous despite our sin

When seeking forgiveness one must acknowledge their own sin

When seeking forgiveness one must own the consequences of their sin (to God and to others)

When seeking forgiveness one must humbly work toward relational restoration

When forgiveness is sought from you do not take confession and repentance lightly

When forgiveness is sought from you it is proper to mourn sin and it’s consequences

When forgiveness is sought from you, humbly work toward relational restoration

 

Acknowledging sin and its consequences may be a quick practice, but reconciliation may take time

Relationships that practice forgiveness well end up being stronger than those who avoid forgiveness

 

Forgiveness in the Family

As a spouse/parent, it is your responsibility to teach and model Christlike forgiveness

In doing so, children learn about restoring relationships with each other and with God

Reconciliation is the process of restoring a relationship to mutual trust – Rom 12:17-21

It is forgiveness’s practical side – partnership in confession, repentance, and sanctification

Ultimately reconciliation is based on the offender’s attitude and action

It is not a means of vindication or revenge, instead it is an instrument of restoration

It builds relational trust as both parties see practical faith lived out in each other

Boundaries, Trust, and Consequences

A very effective way of working toward reconciliation in the family is the use of boundaries

Boundaries are protective measures used to remind someone of God’s will and guard them from sin

Boundaries may reveal the heart and protect the heart, but they do not change the heart

Boundaries, when the motives and limits are proper explained, are useful in the discipleship of others

Reconciliation is aided by boundaries as the offending party humbly obeys them

In the parent/child relationship it is proper to assign appropriate consequences to boundary breaking

 

Further reading – Sande’s Peacemaking for Families, Cornell’s TGC article How to Move from Forgiveness to Reconciliation, and Bruner and Stroope’s It Starts at Home